Dac’s Twelve Days of Christmas

Dac’s Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas,
Someone gave to me
A kitten with extra toes.

On the second day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Two cat toys,
And a kitten with extra toes.

On the third day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Three French feathers,
Two cat toys,
And a kitten with extra toes.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Four chirping birds,
Three French feathers,
Two cat toys,
And a kitten with extra toes.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Five golden strings,
Four chirping birds,
Three French feathers,
Two cat toys,
And a kitten with extra toes.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Six balls a-rolling,
Five golden strings,
Four chirping birds,
Three French feathers,
Two cat toys,
And a kitten with extra toes.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Seven koi a-swimming,
Six balls a-rolling,
Five golden strings,
Four chirping birds,
Three French feathers,
Two cat toys,
And a kitten with extra toes.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Eight chickens laying,
Seven koi a-swimming,
Six balls a-rolling,
Five golden strings,
Four chirping birds,
Three French feathers,
Two cat toys,
And a kitten with extra toes.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Nine crickets jumping,
Eight chickens laying,
Seven koi a-swimming,
Six balls a-rolling,
Five golden strings,
Four chirping birds,
Three French feathers,
Two cat toys,
And a kitten with extra toes.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Ten doves a-flying,
Nine crickets jumping,
Eight chickens laying,
Seven koi a-swimming,
Six balls a-rolling,
Five golden strings,
Four chirping birds,
Three French feathers,
Two cat toys,
And a kitten with extra toes.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Eleven mice a-squeaking,
Ten doves a-flying,
Nine crickets jumping,
Eight chickens laying,
Seven koi a-swimming,
Six balls a-rolling,
Five golden strings,
Four chirping birds,
Three French feathers,
Two cat toys,
And a kitten with extra toes.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
Amazon sent to me
Twelve bunnies running,
Eleven mice a-squeaking,
Ten doves a-flying,
Nine crickets jumping,
Eight chickens laying,
Seven koi a-swimming,
Six balls a-rolling,
Five golden strings,
Four chirping birds,
Three French feathers,
Two cat toys,
And a kitten with extra toes!

Merry Christmas from Dac, again this year.

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What Santa Thinks after Eight Hours in the Mall

Wipe your snotty nose.

You stink; get your mommy to change your diaper.

If you pull my beard, I’m going to pull your hair.

You’ve been such a naughty kid don’t expect anything for Christmas.

Do you really believe there’s a Santa Claus?

Yeah, I want to hold another screaming or crying kid.

What do I have a sign on me?—Barf on me today!

Keep that sucker in your mouth and don’t touch Santa with sticky hands.

Santa doesn’t want cookies and milk; he wants a ham sandwich and a beer.

 Kid you’ve been eating too many sweets.

Take you finger out of your nose.

No, I don’t want some of your slobbery sucker.

I hope that’s pumpkin on your outfit.

Don’t sneeze!  Don’t sneeze!  Oh, crap!

Why couldn’t I be Mrs. Claus instead of Santa.

Scrooge is beginning to make sense.

When is Christmas over?

Now I know what my wife had to put up with.

Kid, I feel like crying, too.

Quite complaining, at least you have diapers; I have to hold it.

 

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